I'm terrible at writing fiction

I recently realized I’m terrible at crafting stories. For years, I imagined I’d write a great story one day. I pictured random readers online recognizing my gift and elevating me toward a renowned workshop or artist grant.

I thought fiction writing meant spilling unchained creativity onto paper. I was that naive. When a writer friend and I started a project to write a short story every other week, I assumed everything would go smoothly. “I don’t have a hard time writing. Two weeks is definitely enough time for me,” I said.

I was wrong. I couldn’t come up with a solid story. I procrastinated until the deadline, then scrambled to write and edit. I couldn’t structure a compelling narrative. I had no bird’s-eye view to objectively assess my work. My sentences contained raw emotions, but they wouldn’t cohere into a concrete story. Even as a first draft, my work was underwhelming.

I lack storytelling skills, and worse, I don’t have the will to build a story. The deeper I get into fiction, the less purpose I see in investing hundreds of hours to perfect one. I forget the plot as stories lengthen. Worldbuilding requires commitment, like hand-building a house, but I wanted a quick fix for my creative urge, like posting on a blog.

It’s time to admit it: I’m terrible at writing fiction. Or more accurately, I’m not in love with it. I’m still passionate about writing. I just get way more energetic publishing short bursts online.